It's the long weekend, I used to love this weekend....It was the first real party weekend of the year.
This year is so different for me. I'm just so sad all the time..........I wish I could make myself be happy and really look around and appreciate all the good that's in my life. This is my first year as a single mom. My first year of being single again, and it's the hardest thing I've had to deal with. I was with my husband for 17 years, and about 6 before we got married. I grew up with him, he was my best friend and my closest person forever. I'm just not sure who I am without him. It's so hard for me to understand how he could walk away from all that. I know it happens everyday, to all kinds of people, but I never seen myself in this position. Everything I look at I still see through the eyes of "us". I never planned to raise my children on my own, or to plan my whole future that only includes just the kids and I. The most frustrating part is that I just can't seem to go on. I have so much emotion and I just can't seem to straighten it all out in my head. I've always believed that things happen for a reason, and things always work out.........I really hope that's true, but I no longer feel so positive about that. I can't wait for the day I actually wake up and feel good, please tell me that day will come!!!