Bench Talk - Is this Hot Toronto Weather a direct result of global warrming?

(Sunshine) The heat wave is on. It was a high of about 38 degrees Celsius today and the rest of the week looks to be just as hot. Is global warming the reason for such warm temperatures? Our summers and winters have changed and sometimes the fall and spring seasons seem to be much shorter then I remember. I love Canada and the four distinct seasons that we have is one of the things that I enjoy most about where we live. (Cathy) It's funny that as we get older we talk about how much the weather has changed from when we were young! We all do it! I start many conversations by saying, "I remember when I was young the summer (or winter) was ... I do believe the world weather patterns have changed. I have read that as weather patterns have only been tracked for about one hundred years, it's not known if this is a change or just a normal cycle of weather. O.K., here goes, I remember summers when I was young when there was not one soul outside except us kids. We would build tents out of old bed sheets and clothes pegs and lawn chairs. Someone's mom would make us a lunch of peanut butter and jam sandwiches and milk with an apple. We would play with our Barbies or read comic books or play cards. We were outside all day. I think we would even fall asleep in our tents for an afternoon nap! Can you remember the buzzing sound when it was super hot out? I used to think it was the power lines vibrating, however, and I think it was Sunshine who told me, that it's actually the cicadas making the noise.
Summers were hot and long and simple. We ate lunch at whomevers home we were closest to. We ate homemade popsicles made from kool-aid and splashed in a blowup pool to keep cool.

So, is this heat we are experiencing a result of global warming? I'm sure the pollution in our atmosphere has a lot to do with it. I'm just glad we are actually having a summer and not a long wet spring like last year. (I hope I didn't just jinx it!).

Bench Talk: What Happened in Toronto?

What happened in Toronto last Saturday night? Who was the cause of it? I thought it was supposed to be a peaceful protest! So, just who were those people in black? Were they local people or did they come to Toronto from afar to cause trouble? In Toronto we have all been complaining about the money spent on security and the inconvenience caused to residents. I guess it's now justified.

(Sunshine) I watched the chaos that was being shown on the news on tv and it was pretty shocking. (Cathy) I, too was pretty shocked when I turned on the radio Saturday night and heard about all of the chaos! What's sad is that all of the organized peaceful protest causes were lost in the mess. Instead of shining light on real causes, for example: Greenpeace, all people saw was "thugs" causing havoc.Shame on those cowardly individuals who come to our city to do nothing but destroy and reek havoc. There is no cause that they are fighting for, they are just criminal thugs. I would like to tell them all to get out of our city and go back to where they came from. I hope that they catch each and everyone of them and deal with them so that they will think twice about ever being a part of anything like this ever again.The only problem is that innocent people get caught up and arrested right along with them. I think these thugs scare people so that any thoughts of participating in a peaceful cause in the future is squashed. I am so thankful for all of our emergency and security forces who have worked tirelessly and incurred injuries and insults in order to keep our city and it's visiting members safe. I also wish that the public would help the police out more by getting out of the way allowing the criminals to be revealed rather then being able to blend into the large crowds. That's a good point. I wonder though that when the police do show up can the innocent people get away or are they caught up in the crowd. Then there is the fear of the mass stampede to get away which is when people get hurt. I thank God that that did not happen this time.
I heard on the news this morning that David Miller, who is the mayor of Toronto is appealing to the Federal government for compensation for the people who lost wages because they were not allowed to go to work in the secure zone. Also, for the lost business and now the repairs to the businesses in the area of destruction.

So, in the end, what was gained? What good came out of this summit? Is is really necessary to hold them in major cities?

(Carolin) I know this has been posted a few days ago. But I wasn't aloud to say anything till now. I am home from the G8 Summit in Huntsville. And I too was shocked to watch the news and see what was happening in Toronto. Who are these people and I hope they are arrested and given the full extent of the law. Thousands of RCMP and OPP where quickly bused down to Toronto and then when things were somewhat under control they were sent back to Hunstville. I spoke to a few different ones and I was told by all that what we say on the news was nothing to what it was really like. It was crazy! These men and women put there lives at risk because of a group of troublemakers. I sure hope they get them all. I think the city, business and residence should be able to sue them for damages and if they are not from Canada I sure hope they are prohibited from ever entering our country again.

Bench Talk: Yard Work

Today is the first day of summer. It's the longest day of the year, the summer solstice! By now everyone's yard should be up and running. Flowers are in bloom and shrubs have grown and veggies are getting plump. It takes a lot of work to keep the yard in shape. Please share your best advice for yardwork.
(Sunshine) I have finally purchased a reel lawn mower (manual lawn mower). I have wanted one for years but Mr Sunshine prefers the electric mowers. Well yesterday, I woke up and mowed the lawn front and back. It was early so because there is no motor is is quiet enough to use anytime of day, weekends included. It is light weight and even the kids can help out without the danger of getting hurt. I mowed the lawn, picked some weeds, watered the plants and the grass and then vacuumed the pool. The entire process took about two and a half hours. When everything was finished, I looked around and things looked pretty good. Then I went inside and started cooking as my family was due to arrive in about half an hour for a Father's Day Celebration. Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers out there.

When I look around the yard there is still so much more that needs to be done. The trees all need to be pruned, the peach tree needs to be sprayed as it has leaf curl, weeds need to be picked and patio furniture needs to be painted once again. I could probably work out there everyday for hours and hours and there would still be work to be done. Good thing I enjoy the outdoors. My only tip would be, do what really needs to be done first as looking at the full picture can be very overwhelming. That tip is a good one and one which I finally learned a few years ago. I used to try to get the entire yard done in one day and couldn't and would get frustrated. I know pick one spot and work on it. It is more satisfying and enjoyable. I usually pick an evening and wander the yard with a trug and clippers and deadhead. I will pick a day after a rainfall to weed. I will prune one shrub at a time. I will now step back and enjoy the before and after with my ever present cup of tea! Now, that's gardening!

Bench Talk: G8 and G20 summits

The summits are drawing near. There are news reports daily advising on new security practices and how they will inconvenience the public. What are your opinions regarding the upcoming summits? Are they really necessary? What actually is accomplished during the summits?
Because we live in the Toronto area (GTA) the G20 and G8 Summit is on the news continuously. If I wasn't going to be away anyway I would avoid the downtown core during the Summit time frame. A teacher at works wife works across from the convention centre where the G20 is being held and they have had to move there office up close to the airport for two weeks because of security purposes. The G8 is up in Muskoka so for most of us it doesn't mater.
I will be up working at the G8 this year and I understand security will be very tight I am not to worried as I haven't heard about much protesting happening up north. I think that might be one of the reasons they decided to have it up there.
I have spoke to many different people and haven't yet heard a positive thing about Toronto hosting the Summit. Most people are upset about the cost of it and they voice there concern that no real work happens. It is just a waist of taxpayers money. I happen to agree with this opinion. It seems to me to be just a big photo op for all and a make work project for others. Perhaps being there and seeing things first hand will change my opinion.

I am excited to have the opportunity to work at the G8 and am looking forward to learning new operational procedures, working on new equipment and being part of something that more then likely wont happen again for me. Oh and the $$ is good!
Do any of our American benchers even know there is a Summit coming up in a weeks time. We are so bombarded by American news but I don't think Canadian news is reported down there. Please comment and correct me if I am wrong.
(Sunshine) My biggest question about the summit, is why is Canada spending so much more money then other countries who have hosted it in the past? It may have something to do with the $2 million dollars that they have spent on the phony lake that they have built for the journalists. Apparently it is dressed with canoes and Muskoka chairs and changing scenery. This lake will be built on the CNE grounds not that far away from some pretty spectacular real lakes. What a joke. The estimated cost of the summits so far is about $1.2 billion dollars. That seems to be a very large expense especially considering the fact that the leaders are only meeting here for 18 hours. Who is giving approval for such ridiculous spending anyways?????????????

How will it affect me? Well Mr Sunshine will be extremely busy for the next few weeks, but, I suppose if it isn't the summit keeping him busy then it would be something else. I am sure, though that it would be pretty cool to be a part of it all as Carolin has said. Have a great time, Carolin. I hope that it will be a rewarding experience for you and everyone else involved. We look forward to hearing all about it when you return.

Bench Talk: Blog Hops, Getting to know you!

Becoming a blogger is to enter a fascinating world. In the beginning you think you are the only one blogging and no one is interested in what you have to say. Slowly, you start to look around and discover the literally thousands of blogs out there! Many of them are similar to our own blog. People need to share. It's great to have a forum to vent, healthy even. Blog hops are a new thing. It's a way to make friends and find other blogs similar to our own. We have been blogging for a year now. It's great to look back at the start and see how much we have learned and grown.

(Sunshine) I have enjoyed our blogging experience together. It has been a way to keep in touch and share our feelings and get to know each other even better. I really don't know if someone who is a stranger to us, would actually follow us and read about us. I know that you all tell me that they do but I still have a hard time understanding why they would want to. We have come a long way and we have done it together and that's what makes it all worth while. I know that Carolin still thinks that we will one day strike it rich, well I doubt it but I will enjoy celebrating with you girls if it ever happens.

(Carolin) I too have enjoyed the Blog. I wonder if people really do read the blog or not? Cathy says they do but because of the lack of comments I wonder if we are just talking to ourselves. I wish at times I had more time to blog, I have all kinds of ideas to write about but most of the time I am just too tired. Now that all four of us are living in different neighbourhoods, and working during the day. It is nice to be able to catch up on the blog.

Bench Talk: Garage Sales

Who doesn't love a garage sale! Sunshine and family participated in a street sale this past Saturday and managed to get rid of a lot of stuff. Many, many years ago when we ladies lived on the same street, we hosted a neighbourhood street sale. Carolin was the leader and did a great job in rallying the troops! We had a great time. We vowed that whatever stuff was not sold would not come back into our homes. Whatever was leftover was taken to the Salvation Army or Goodwill.

(Sunshine) We had a street yard sale today (last Saturday) and it went really well. We started taking things out and setting up at 4:00am and although the sale was advertised to begin at 8:00 am, two of our biggest sales were made by 6:30 am. The traffic was great and we got rid of so much stuff. Some of it was good stuff and a lot of it was just junk to me. I enjoy selling to people who give you close to the price that you are asking and who seem as though they will give things that you have enjoyed a new home. My frustration comes with people who really want to nickel and dime you and really want to get as much stuff as they can for really no money at all. They even have issues with paying a dollar for something that is worth a lot more. If all of the customers were like that, then I would rather not even participate in a yard sale at all. Thank goodness most people are fair and although they are out there looking for a really good deal (I mean come on it is a yard sale) they still manage to get a great bargain and still be respectful of the sellers.

In the end, the weather was perfect and the traffic was great and we sold a lot of things. I did have some items that I would not part with unless the price was right and I took them back into my home as I would rather use them somewhere rather than give them away. There were about 10 items in that category. We had about 2 boxes of what I would call junk that went to Goodwill and those that Goodwill did not take went to the local dump. It was a very busy day but definitely worth the effort. Little Miss Sunshine was invaluable in her services. She was so helpful and right into the set up and selling and clean up and she made a lot of sales on her own. Of course she did, when I came by she was the only one manning the sale. Way to go LMS! Miss Teen Sunshine, helped to set up and then disappeared for the rest of the day. Mr. Sunshine did so much lugging around and lifting and carrying of all of the heavy items that I am sure that he will be very sore tomorrow. I was doing a little bit of everything and I am also tired and sore.

Two of the women in our neighbourhood coordinated the entire thing and I am not sure in the end how many houses actually participated but I believe that the number was greater then 14. It costs us all $5.00 per household as we all contributed to the cost of the advertising in the paper. It was a good day and well worth all of the effort. It was also very nice to see Carolin as she dropped by for a visit at some point during the day. I would guess closer to 30 - 40 houses. There seemed to be crowds of cars everywhere. You live on such a big street that there were lots and lots of houses participating.

(Carolin)I am glad the sale went well. I would type more but I had already put my two cents in and it seems to have disappeared. I don't have the energy to do it again. Let me say that yard sales are just too much work. And the people who come wanting armfuls of stuff for a nickle drive me crazy. I would rather throw it out then sell it to them for a nickle.

Bench Talk: Working with/for the Public

Who out there works for the public? For example, working in a shopping centre, bank, transit, airport... and all the other places people like to go. It's great working with the public, however, there is a big downfall. The public expects to be able to shop, fly, whatever, 24/7. I understand all about shift work. As a shift worker myself the convenience of being able to shop whenever is great. However, if shops or venues were only open certain times I would have to schedule the best time to go. I like the convenience, but I wouldn't miss it. I think time spent with loved ones or just time spent pursuing activities at home would increase because the time would be there.

(Sunshine) I think that it is very convenient to be a able to shop and do other things pretty much anytime but when I am out there on a holiday, I always feel sad for the workers who have to work instead of being home with their families. On occasion I even comment on how I hope that they are not working too late on the holiday. I agree that if the stores were closed it would not be a big deal, I would just shop on other days. Spending time with family is very important and it's hard when everyone around you has time with their family and someone that you love has to work. Many times work takes special time away from our families. We have definitely taken a step backwards as a society when it comes to this issue.
Sunshine, it looks like you are the only one of us with an opinion on this topic. Well, I work shift work. As much as we get paid for the stat holiday, it's hard to leave the family at home, by the pool, sipping mojitos (just the adults, of course). I'm ok once I'm at work. It's the leaving the home part that's hard. When I first started working we were a Monday to Friday operation. I worked in the office then, moved to the airport years later. We were open from 8am until 9pm if my memory is correct. It wasn't long until we changed hours from 6am until midnight. You know what follows, 24hours a day, 7 days a week. This was to accommodate the various time zones in the country. It's easy to say to change jobs, however, to what? Look at Carolin who looked for a job for ages and finally started one of her own! It's a tough, demanding, selfish world we all now live in and everyone wants everything now! When is the down time?

Bench Talk: Teenagers - Who are They and Where did They Come From?

Will someone please explain teenagers! What is the best way to communicate with them? (Carolin)You can't.How is it that they are so cute when they are little, however, when they turn 16 they 'morf' into some strange unknown creature!
This is what I have learned so far (having a 18 1/2 year old teenage girl)

.............................................................................................................................................

So, you can see I have no words of wisdom for you. What I can share is what is NOT helpful to hear while you are dealing with 'creatures'.

• Just keep the lines of communication open. (what the hell is that supposed to mean) First of all the creatures only communicate what they want you to know. And they only communicate to you when they have screwed up. You can communicate all you want but just cause they are looking at you when you communicate, I can assure what you are saying and what they are hearing are two very different things.


• Support and encourage them. (What Ever) There is no way to support and encourage when they are changing their minds every other minute and what spews out of their mouth is nonsense.


• They need to make their own mistakes. (Well then go ahead and leave me out of it) I am getting tired of picking up the pieces and then being trashed on because I didn't do it the way the creature wanted it cleaned up.


• Just love them. (we will always love them, now at this point we don't particularly like them but we will always love them)
  
• Remember when you were that age. (I remember and that's why I am so freaked out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well Cathy, I hope that helps and if it doesn't you can always do what I am doing. Running away for the summer. People keep asking me why I decided to go work at a children's camp for the summer. I give them all the noble answers like, to work and encourage the kids and counselors, to help friends, to be where God can use me. But you want to know the real reason? The creature wouldn't go away for the summer so I decided that I would go away instead. Now she is her Dad's problem. Ahhhhhhh 6 more weeks till freedom.............

(Cathy) Carolin, I have just read over everything you have written and I think you should write a book. My mom is here with me and she totally agrees with you! She has one more thing to add to the list. In order to keep your sanity, we should lock them in their rooms and just ignore them. My cousin once told me to always count to ten before responding to anything they say or do. This will allow us to put things in perspective before responding. I will admit that counting does work, I just need to remember to count! One thing I am sure of, we all do love our children and it's because we are loving parents that we care and become concerned about them. They will become adults and we will be proud of them, through all the tears!

(Sunshine) I am waving my white flag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bench Talk: Crying Harassment - the new way to "Cry Wolf"?

It's often said that, "too much of a good thing is a bad thing." We spend countless dollars teaching our children right from wrong. The problem is that the list of "wrongs" has grown so much that kids and adults alike become paranoid; double thinking each and every action taken or word spoken so as not to "offend" anyone. It's so easy now to cry "harassment" against someone and once that magic word has been spoken there is no going back!

Now this is a subject I am familiar with. Just recently our family was unwillingly involved in a alleged sexual harassment situation. The teenager had to fire a volunteer at her job. After numerous conversations with the volunteer, talking to the volunteer coordinator on how to handle the situation and writing up a formal complaint about his attitude she asked him not to return. A week later she is summoned into her boss's office and informed that this 14 year old volunteer and his parents have filed a sexual harassment charge against her!

At one point our family discussed hiring a lawyer to protect her. She asked me to sit in the meeting with her and her bosses and after two weeks the case was closed. It was determined to be a he said/she said and could not be proven. But what we have all learned from this is; in our over sensitive world you are guilty until proven innocent. All this boy had to do was make the complaint. It then was up to us to prove she was innocent. And the kicker of this whole thing is, though it is considered, 'case closed,' we will never know what this boy said she supposedly did to sexually harass him. She had to prove her innocence without ever knowing what he was accusing her of saying!

I feel we have raised a generation who think they can do and say whatever they want, without any ramifications.

Bench Talk: 14 is too young to date, right?

The other day my 14 year old son comes to me and declares that he is old enough to date! We have yet to hear this declaration from our older son. Hubby and I were quite content to let hormones lay dormant and school work flourish. Hubby and I both feel 14 is too young to start dating. We both agreed to let him 'group date', that is going to the movies, or bowling with a bunch of his friends. What do you think?

(Carolin)Is 14 to young to date? Hmmmm let me think......... YES!


Think about the reason we date. Is it to add another notch to the old experience belt or is it to find a partner for marriage. So, if your son is seriously considering marrying this person then sure go on the date. But if he isn't even thinking that way why does he need to 'one on one' date at 14.


(Louise)Marriage.........OMG! I think everybody just needs to calm down. My daughter is an early teen and she has already started dating. Yes, I would rather she just go out with her girlfriends and have fun as a group. She is not dating anyone at the moment and has decided that she just wants to be free and have fun with her girlfriends. That being said the only way she was able to come to that conclusion was to date, and find that out for herself. I guess I'm of the school that lets them discover things for themselves. To a certain extent and always keep the lines of communication open. The thing is, kids don't really date anymore.......they all go out as a group or they start by facebooking or texting and then start seeing each other. The days of going to movies or dinner as just a date are long gone. I think today the proper term is 'hooking up' or maybe 'dealing'........whatever,,, don't panic kids are a lot smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. Don't you remember what is was like....Come on it wasn't that long ago!!!!!!!!!

(Cathy)It's funny because I do remember the 'dating' thing started happening in middle school. Not to me mind you, but I wudda if I cudda! (date, I mean) Are kids today smarter or is it that they are just exposed to so much more than we were. As parents, we have to help guide them and let out enough rope so that they can experience life for themselves, but boy is it ever hard sometimes. Well, the younger one has accepted the compromise of going out with a group of friends. We have given him ideas of places to go, ie: movies, bowling or with summer coming up, a seasons pass to "Canada's Wonderland". It's funny because he is constantly in touch with her via MSN, or Facebook or texting and he has started using the home phone, a lot! We do not have call waiting so, to all my friends, if you get a busy signal..... call my cell!


(Sunshine) Everyone starts dating at different ages depending on the person. They will go out with (become boy friend and girl friend) no matter what we say. They will talk and hang out with each other at school and they will arrange to go out with friends and meet up with the boy friend or girl friend if they want to without you knowing it if it is forbidden. When do we let them openly date with our approval, well I think that it is a different answer for all of us and for our children. Many things can come into play. Age, the type of person they are seeing, how long it has been since there last relationship and how serious was the last relationship and many other things. Personally I would rather get to know someone that my child is interested in and spending a lot of time with, either on the net or at school. I would prefer that they meet at my house if dating is going to be permitted. My parents didn't let us date until much later in life. I did have boyfriends without them knowing when I was in grade 8 and later in high school but the restrictions made it a situation where there was hand holding only because I could only see them at school. They let me openly date when I was around 18 years old. Lets just say that things can get a lot more serious then just hand holding when you are alone with someone on a regular basis. Everyone must decide for themselves what is right for their children and it is probably what we as parents are most comfortable with. There is no right or wrong answer, just follow your instincts and you can't really go wrong.

Bench Talk: Giveaway Blogs

Have you ever taken the time to hop from blog to blog? If yes, you will have noticed the increasing number of blogs whose purpose is solely for product reviews and give aways. Is this the evolution of a personal blog?


(Sunshine) I don't do much blog hopping so the answer is no.


(Carolin) I have blog hopped and have found some very interesting blogs. I have noticed a lot of the giveaways blogs. I don't normally stay on them as I don't find them very interesting. We have talked about doing product reviews but I would like to do it differently than the giveaway blogs. But at this time I am not sure just how, any suggestions? Also, I have found most of the giveaway blogs are American so they are not applicable to us Canadians.

(Cathy) I do blog hop and I have come across many interesting blogs. I am now a follower of many of these blogs. (Check out my profile to see the list) It's the evolution of blogging that had me asking the above question. Many of the blogs I now follow started out as personal blogs and they still are to a point. Our own blog (At the Park) has grown and evolved. We have made many friends by participating in a Friday Follow Blog Hop. Most of these blogs are now give away blogs. On a give away blog products are reviewed and bloggers can enter for a chance to win the product. From what I see this is a lot of work. It almost becomes a job in itself to keep up with the posts of new products and winners. It's a great way to increase exposure to your blog and I think that that is probably the catalyst for starting the give aways. I was reading a blog the other day and the author was advising that she was slowing down on the give aways and getting back to the original reason for blogging; sharing her personal thoughts on life.

Starting a blog is so exciting and when you start to get followers it's even more exciting. It's important to remember the reason for the blog and try to stay focused and hopefully, people will be drawn to read out of interest.

I hope our readers find what we have to share interesting. Welcome and enjoy!

Bench Talk: Finding Time

This is a topic which comes up all the time, "finding time." It sounds so easy when you say it. It should be easy and we all know the time is there, however...

(Sunshine) As our children grow and they are involved with so many activities and they start to have lives of their own, life gets busier and busier. Time seems to get away from all of us and it is so important to make time for things that are special to us. To spend time with others and do things that make us happy. The daily grind of life and all of our obligaitons, take us away from what really matters and our focus shifts and the next thing we know, so much time has gone by and as we grow older we realize that we don't have as much time left as we did when we were kids. (Carolin) Time, Hmmm, lately I just don't seem to have enough of that. I didn't even get a chance to get on the blog yesterday, sorry ladies. When I get a moment I will sit down and type but for now I just don't have the time.

Bench Talk: With Spell Check, Is it really Necessary to Learn to Spell?

(Carolin) I guess Cathy has no idea what to talk about today. And I woke up with a toothache so I don't really feel like doing anything so I will leave the conversation to Sunshine.

(Cathy) Carolin, sorry you have a toothache. Does this mean you will be seeing K at the dentist soon? Feel better Carolin. Sorry I didn't see K today. But still have a toothache

About Bench Talk, I finally thought of a topic for discussion.

By grade three I was told by my son's teacher that the focus was no longer on spelling properly. The focus was to be on 'content'. As kids type on computers, (what ever happened to cursive writing??? I know, another topic!) they have the use of spellcheck. So, teachers want the kids to focus more on the detail of their writing, rather than spelling. What do you think?

When I was talking to the Vice Principal at the public school in our area last year (when we were considering moving the little one to a new school), she did say they do not do spelling tests and that spelling is no longer marked. I have mixed feelings on the subject. But it is VERY important that the kids learn to spell and have good grammar. They need these skills for when they are adults and in the work force. With the Internet our way of communicating has changed and we are required to write (type) just about everything. If we want others to understand us then we need to be able to spell and use proper grammar.

Both my kids know cursive writing. Little Miss Sunshine is still in the process of learning and practicing but she has picked it up quite well.

Spelling, that's a whole other issue. I have always been a terrible speller. I think that some people are good spellers and others, are not. I think that it depends on how you learn and how our brain works. I have become much better since the kids were born because there was a stage where we were spelling words that we did not want them to understand and also they are always asking me how to spell a word. I actually think that what I got better at was spelling the words out loud not necessarily learning how to spell words that I have a tendency of getting wrong. Spelling will come over time and they will either be great spellers or adequate spellers but I agree that teaching a child how to add relevant content is really important. It makes them think and stretch their minds. Both my girls had weekly spelling tests from grade one up to grade five. Though the little one has had her list of words reduced and I don't think she has ever passed a test, I still find her a pretty good speller. Also both girls learned cursive writing in grade three and in grade four are expected to only write in cursive. Again the little ones cursive writing is very nice. The teenagers is also nice when she takes her time.

I am really happy that computers have spell check, however even with that feature I still find (or rather I have been told in no uncertain terms)(hmmm, I wonder by whom?) that I still manage to make my fair share of mistakes. How many did you find this time?(do you really want to know? I just finished editing and I am laughing. One of my points is that spell check is ok, however it does not fix grammar mistakes. For example, using the proper spelling of know verses no, or where verses were!!!) I am not good at spelling but have found that spell check has helped. Over time when it is the same words I spell wrong eventually through spell check I am now able to spell the word correctly.
I know my spelling and grammar are bad, but I do try. I think for me I am always in a rush and don't take the time to proof my work. I am counting on my fellow bloggers to do that for me. I do know that I will correct an error on the others work when I catch them. In other words I am expecting them to have my back!(I've got all of your backs, as long as you don't mind. I have to admit, one of the things I enjoy about our blog is the work I do in the background. I find you ladies have such interesting things to say when I cannot think of a thing. So, I'm glad to be able to "play" with our blog.)
Here is another interesting point to ponder. Language is fluid. It has changed over the centuries and with that change anthropologists and sociologists are able to track society. One day, many years from now, maybe there will be only one way to spell.....there!

Bench Talk: Book Club Talk

We ladies are in the beginning of our book club book. We will post our, "Book Club Talk" every Wednesday. Each of us will give our opinions, likes and dislikes of the pages read to date. The library has a list of online sites with discussion questions.


(Cathy) I just hope that I can stop reading at the appointed page. I was never good at following orders when it comes to books. I remember when I was in high school I would always read the entire story or book. I just did not see the value in stopping and reading bits at a time. I have, however, given the ladies my word that I will be good and only read per the schedule!


(Louise) I'm interested to read this one.....Let's see how close to truth it will be, well I guess truth is relevant to what's happening in everyones lives. I wonder if the author is part of a friendship like the one she will be writing about??. I think this "book club talk" will be very interesting because I think in life sometimes things look and seem one way but they are totally different than what they seem. When you actually get to hear or take the time to listen to someones point of view. Honest point of view that is........ It really gives you another way of looking or feeling a certain way about some things.


I guess it's very similar to......never judging someone until you walk in their shoes....but on that same note I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion as well.

(Carolin)I was a little apprehensive with the title of the book "Dirty Girls Social Club" . Trashy novels are just not my thing but I to promised to keep an open mind and give the book a chance. Happy reading all.

(Sunshine) I am going to sit down and read the book right now. I don't really know what to expect but I hope that I enjoy it.

Bench Talk: Friendships and Why Friendships Are So Important

The title speaks for itself. Is it possible to live without a good close friendship and would you want to?


(Sunshine) Having friends is very important to me. Friends come in different ways. There is the friendship that you have with your spouse, and that with your children. You can have a close friendship with your siblings and with other family members. Finally, there are friendships that form from getting to know a complete stranger who one day becomes a good close friend. I cherish each and every one of my friendships. They are an important part of my life. What makes someone a good close friend? For me, it is a sharing in each others lives. To share there must be a comfort level and trust and respect for each other. How is it that this can happen with some people that you meet and not with others? Well, I think that some of that comes down to personalities and similarities in values and how you live your lives. Ultimately you have to like the person that you are friends with and sometimes you need to work at maintaining a friendship. With everyone being so busy, making time for it all can be a struggle. In the end the effort is worth it. I think that a good friendship usually also comes very naturally. There is not much thought put into it and suddenly things just happen and you wake up one day and find that you have a new friend in your life. You can be yourself with your friend and they will still love you. They can share in your pain and celebrate in your successes. You care for each other and feel what the other is going through. Your lives are intertwined and you are richer for having that person in your life. You can rely on them and although the answers to your questions may not always be yes, you respect that and remember how they are always there for you.


The hard part comes when an existing friendship starts to change. Then what? It can be hard and confusing. You can have two really good people with two sides for why things fell apart and sometimes it's not even about why. Blaming helps no one. It works better just to understand that things in life change and so do people and we all have to respect what others want in their lives, even if in the end that means the existing friendship has changed its form.



In conclusion, I guess that it is possible to live without a good and close friendship because anything in life is possible but I am grateful that I am blessed with great friendships in my life that come from both family and friends.



To my good friends who I share this blog with, I love you all very much and I hope that we will grow old together. (Carolin) Guess what, we may grow old together, but we will do it without my grey hair showing! Yes, I spent three hours at the hairdressers yesterday and had my hair cut, coloured, foiled, and styled. Yes, I am now $183.00 lighter but I don't have any more grey! I can't wait to see your new look. I go tomorrow to get rid of the grey and da kink! ($125.00)

With everything in your life, things change and so do friends. I have found that you have girlfriends for different times of your life. But as your needs and theirs grow and life happens friendships evolve. It is important for women to have friends other than their partner. They need the outlet. Because we, as women, like to think, over analyse, and discuss our feeling, issues, thoughts; we need more than a spouse to let us do that. I have had and have some wonderful friends and am thankful for them. Now, this blog is getting a little too mushy for me so I have to go and nag my kids to get ready for school :(

(Cathy) Carolin is right. Women do need girlfriends. Close girlfriends! As much as we can share with a partner, there are subjects that women like to talk and discuss and trash and pick apart until there is nothing left of the topic! Husbands don't have the patience for this. (ok maybe some do) Trust is another valued aspect of close girlfriends. It's the ability to be there, present either in person or spirit and not judge! It's to know when to offer advice and to know when to shut up! It's also the ability to know when your girlfriend needs space and even when they are hurting and you want so badly to help..... it's knowing when to stand back and wait.

I thank God every day for these ladies with whom I share my life. I trust these ladies with my life and I know that if my life were to end prematurely that these ladies would be present with my family to take care of what my life has left behind. (talk about mushy, eh, Carolin!)

Bench Talk: Hair - To Colour or Not to Colour?

To (roughly) quote Shakespeare, "that is the question."

On one of my earlier posts I wrote about the troubles with my hair, http://conversationsatthepark.blogspot.com/2009/04/rare-gift.html. Being of Jamaican heritage and mixed blood I am white skinned with blue eyes and Afro hair. I am in the routine of 'relaxing' my hair to make it more manageable. If I didn't I would have to keep it in a short Afro. My hair is very fine and light so it will not hold a braid or twist and frizzes out of control in no time! So, every three months or so, off I go to the beauty salon to get my hair straightened, (relaxed)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relaxer.
Now, the grey is creeping in a an alarming rate! I didn't mind the few here and there, but now I have a skunk stripe growing from my forehead back and all sorts of grey everywhere else! So, picture a white skinned, blue eyed, light brown Afro hair with a skunk stripe and grey highlights!!!
To colour or not to colour? That is my question. Your feedback is appreciated.
(Carolin) I think we should change your name. For now on we will call you Flower. Remember the skunk from Bambi? It is very fitting cause you have a stench about you, no,no,no just Jokes (as the teenagers say) . You love flowers and plants and such, and you say you have this white stripe thing happening. I am so blind cause I don't remember seeing a skunk thing on your head. But not to worry I will be looking for it now! (Sunshine) Maybe you can live under my front steps Flower. I have to colour my hair as I get a head band (that's what Little Miss Sunshine calls it) of gray at the front of my hair. Gray hair and a hair net, not such a pretty picture. Personally, I have discovered that in a hair net everyone looks like a Nonna (grandmother) no matter what their age.
But seriously Cathy, I totally relate to your hair thing. Well not the Afro thing, or the thin thing, or the fine thing, or the Jamaican thing. But I do have grey hair!!! For a long time now I have talked about going to get highlights and low lights for my hair. I was hoping it would help to hide the grey. There is a hair salon near me that has a special on 50% off foils, but I don't know anyone who has been there to know if they are good. I am afraid of coming home with the patterned wallpaper stripe look (yuck). I find the home colour kits don't do well with covering the grey and I don't like the hair growth line you get after only three weeks. I actually don't mind the colour of my hair I just don't like the grey.
Carolin, I actually thought that your hair was highlighted. You are right, you do have great hair.
Cathy I have always told you that I love your hair no matter what you do with it. I have never noticed that your hair is thin as you have so much of it. My favourite is when you leave it natural and wear a head band. I think that it really brings out your blue eyes and it's different. I really think that it suits you so much. I also love it relaxed.
I have to take the little one to the dentist this afternoon and the hair salon is in the same plaza so I think I will go talk to them. Later the same day: So I stopped by the hair salon while the little one was at the dentist. This what they told me $45.00 for hair cut, $65.00 for a colour (little darker blond then what I am now) $90.00 for highlights and finally $20.00 for a toner. For a grand total of $210.00 plus taxes and tip! I am used to spending $25.00 every 6 months or so for a hair cut that's it. Needless to say I won't be getting my hair done anytime soon. When I was in the salon the two hairdressers working (sitting) looked bored. The place was empty, perhaps the over $200.00 price tag had something to do with it.The prices for hair colouring and cutting can get very outrageous. I used to colour at home but with my stubborn grays that hasn't worked for quite a while. Subsequently, I have to go and get it coloured every 6-8 weeks and even that time frame is stretching it a lot. I only cut my hair maybe every 4 months or so and that goes for highlighting it as well. You can highlight and only do your roots for about 6 months after that and that works well. So bottom line, I go to my hair dresser (Carolin you would love the building that they are in) and I get my hair coloured and dried with the diffuser for $50.00 plus tip. I only pay more when I need to cut and highlight and that may cost me about $110.00 (every 6 months or so). I know that Louise and her cousin have also gone to this hair dresser. For $210.00 you better be getting a massage and pedicure too. OK so I need the name and address of your hair person. Cause I can't afford $200.00 plus for hair. I might also go see what Frank's prices are like. I have always liked him but the girl who used to do the teenager's hair has left and the young thing they brought in I don't really like so I haven't been back in a while.
To colour or not to colour I don't know because I have to colour.
I vote if it makes you feel better then Colour! But keep in mind once you're on the bottle it is very hard to get off the bottle!

Bench Talk: Our favourite March Break Activities

It's March Break! This only means something big if you are a kid or if you have kids. What are some of your favourite activities for March Break? Come share with us!

(Carolin) Any activity would be better than how we have started our March Break. The teenager left this morning to spend a few hours with her Grandmother and then was meeting a friend and they were spending the day in Toronto. She plans to take the train home tomorrow morning (will spend night with said Grandmother). I know she made it to her Grandmother's as I got 12 phone calls on what to do, where to go, what does the building look like, etc. Finally, when she was with Grandma I asked her what she learned from this and she rolled her eyes at me (I honestly could hear the eyes rolling over the phone!) and said MOT-HER. After a "don't mother me" she admitted it might have been easier if she had written her Grandmother's address down. All this was happening while I was taking the little one to the doctors for a check up. I had made the appointment a while ago but thankfully I did, as she was not feeling well. The doctor gave her a stronger prescription for her Asthma meds and has also put her on a liquid steroid for the next five days. If her breathing does not improve by this afternoon we are to take her to emergency. She is sleeping on the couch now and hopefully the steroids will do the trick. I have never been to our cities new hospital and would like to keep it that way. Tomorrow we are off to the eye doctors for eye exams. Isn't March Break great! (Sunshine) Miss Teen Sunshine was on the prednisone for about a week when she was about 10 years old and it worked beautifully and she has never had to use it since (knock on wood).
Thankfully the little one's school has a two week March break so next week we plan to go to the Museum and Science Centre and such, when the crowds are gone. The teenager will be getting some free admissions passes from Grandma so it will be a fun cheep week. Of course you have coupons!!!!!
Well, I have limited time because I have more laundry to do and packing to do. We leave for New York City tomorrow morning. Knowing Mr. Sunshine it will be very very early. Someone will be looking after the dog for us and house sitting so that is a load off my mind. Does anyone watch the show, "Cake Boss," on TLC? We are going to visit Buddy and the gang and Little Miss Sunshine couldn't be more excited. She has over the last six months or so developed a love for baking. Only you Sunshine, if my child showed an interest in baking I would buy them a easy bake oven. But you, head to NYC so she can meet the CAKE BOSS! Now of course it would mean a lot more to me if I knew who the Cake Boss was. But I am assuming he is some wonder on TV.
I am looking forward to seeing FAO Schwartz (LOVE), Central Park (LOVE) and some great restaurants. We may even make it to watch a production on Broadway if we can manage to get some 50% off tickets. We are hoping to see either, "Wicked" or "The Phantom of the Opera." Have a great time; we haven't been there in years. If you get time head over to the Twin Towers Monument. I am sure it would be a very emotional experience.
Gotta go now so have a great week and talk to you all later.
Sorry all for not getting my two cents in. Our home, (garage) was broken in to, in broad daylight! My husband's power tools were all stolen! They broke through the side garage door. The police said this is quite common and that they are looking for easy stuff to exchange for quick cash so they can buy drugs. He said it shouldn't happen again as they are too stupid to remember which home they stole from! So, now we get to deal with the insurance and replacing the door and tools. Not to mention the 'creep factor' that someone has invaded our home.
Happy March Break!

Bench Talk: Our First Book Club Book, "The Dirty Girls Social Club"

We are due to receive our first set of book club books on the 17th of March. Our first book is called, "The Dirty Girls Social Club," by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez.

Book overview:
In this irrepressible, can't-put-it-down novel of six friends-each one an unforgettable woman in her late twenties-you'll meet:

--Lauren, the "caliente" columnist for the local Boston paper whose love live has recently led her to her boyfriend's closet...to catch him in the act with someone else
--Sara, the perfect wife and mother who's got it all but who is paying a high price
--Amber, raised a Valley girl without a word of Spanish but who is becoming a huge rock en espanol star
--Elizabeth, the stunning black Latina whose TV anchor job conflicts with her intensely private personal life
--Rebecca, hyper-in-command in the world of her glossy magazine, Ella, but totally at sea when it comes to men
--Usnavys, fabulous and larger than life, whose agenda to land the kind of man who can keep her in Manolos almost prevents her finding true love

Book review courtesy of Google Books.

This book will be the first time that we ladies have participated in a 'book club' together. Up until this time, only Carolin has been part of a book club. We hope to share in the reading and our thoughts on the book together, with you our fellow benchers, on this post titled, "Bench Talk."
Please feel free to obtain a copy yourselves from your local library and read and share along with us!

Until then, looking forward to March 17th.

Bench Talk: Birthdays...(are they something to celebrate?)

Happy Birthday to you!.........etc, etc, etc...
Is is still a happy day or is it a day you would rather forget?

(Cathy)It's funny because as a kid growing up, birthdays were never about the age. It was our special day and it was celebrated, but, I never recall the emphasis being on the age. I enjoyed my birthdays up until I turned 26. I was good with the birthday number till 36 then I didn't want to celebrate anymore. I felt by 36 I should have it all together and I didn't (and still don't). (Sunshine) I still really enjoy my birthday. I am grateful to have made it to another year and I look at my girls and at my husband and I am incredible grateful for having them in my life is the biggest blessing. For me it's a day to reflect on life and although there has definitely been some very big hurdles to overcome and many more in the future I am sure there is also so much to be grateful for and being given another day of life is always a good way to start. Each day is a new beginning and with it come new possibilities and challenges. As you can all tell bloggers Sunshine's name fits her well, if she wasn't named Sunshine we would have to call her Pollyanna. You took the words right our of my mouth! Hey, I had to look that one up! So if you are being complementary then I should take it as a nice comment, but, if you are using it in a negative connotation then; Oh well, I guess I will just assume that it is the first one. (you are too funny!) ....back to birthdays....
I don't know what changed. Maybe it was a transition year. I was out of university and working and I guess it was the first time I was really an 'independent' adult. I remember wondering if and when I would be privileged to find myself married and with child. That was always a dream for me. To marry and have a family. Old fashioned, yes, however, very enticing for me. I consider myself lucky to have achieved my dream. Being married and having children was always the first thing on my wish list as well. Though I married young and I wanted kids it wasn't my dream. I could see a life without kids and I was ok with it at that time. Now though I love my kids more then anything, I do at times wonder what life would have been like if I had chosen a different road.I know my life would have been different if I had stuck with ballet. I do wonder every now and again, however, I know I made the correct decision to leave dance. I used to talk about being a pilot when I was younger and also joining the army. Well, I know now that my stomach is too queasy to ever fly a plane for a living and I am too much of a big scaredy cat to every join the army. Thank goodness there are other talented people in this world who can successfully do those jobs.
O.K., back to birthdays, again, :), I don't like them anymore. Do not even mention the day to me, wish me happy birthday or anything. I just get so depressed now. All I can think of is, "there goes another year." Stupid, I know. I still feel young and I still think young and I am happy so what is it? If you read on of our earlier posts you know how livid I was when on my 40th birthday I found a huge bouquet of helium balloons tied to our front porch. (and still no one will own up to it!) Nobody has owned up to it cause we can't remember if we did this or not! Cathy, I know exactly who was responsible for that but I will never ever tell. Aha! Just as I was beginning to think it was someone other than you three ladies! Sunshine, was it me cause I can't remember. I'm not telling! Well, that was many years ago and now as I approach what I thought was a number that couldn't exist I don't know what to think or do. I can't do a thing about it, so....
It is interesting that you would post a Monday Bench Talk for March 1st. As we are celebrating a birthday today. It is the little one's (my baby) 10th birthday. She is so excited, we went out on Friday after school to Chapters (bookstore) to buy her birthday gifts. She asked for a book on bugs and spiders. She also asked for sketch pads and pencils (her sister is going to get that for her). We will have her favourite dinner Kentucky Fried Chicken (last year's dinner was wieners and beans) and for dessert she has requested a Ice Cream cake. So I think I have gotten of pretty easy I don't have to cook dinner or make a cake! Happy Birthday to the little one, it is so hard to believe that it is double digits already. Do you think that that means double trouble too? (I only say that because Little Miss Sunshine will be double digits soon too.)
I think when it comes to my birthday is the gift part that frustrates me. This is an opportunity to give a gift and show that you know this person. 8 out of 10 times I am left disappointed. Perhaps my expectation are to high or I am not clear enough with my request. Though I think I am, when I ask for a I-pod like the teenagers, that to me seems pretty clear. What I get is a MP3 and a big boom box. Off to the store the husband goes to return it and get a I-Pod like I asked. Back home and he gives me a I-Touch!!!! I don't want an I-Touch ( I have a blackberry so the I-Touch is redundant). After a few days the teenager and I make a deal she gets the I-touch and I get her old I-pod (not the colour I wanted but closer to what I wanted). And then the teenager give me a musical instrument made out of a coconut (what was she on at the time of this purchase?) and a salt & pepper shaker. The little one gave me a CD 'The Best of Funk' , funk??? any type of music but funk. Sorry, but that is so funny and so cute at the same time. I want to hear the funk! Get on down!! I know I shouldn't complain as there are many women, wives, mothers who don't even get their birthday acknowledged, let alone a gift. Next year I think I will ask for cash! I think that the chances of you getting cash from your ten year old will be a little slim. How much cash will you wish for?
With regards to gifts, sometimes (last Christmas) I was very vocal about what I really wanted as I was talking to my sister on the phone and on Christmas morning, Mr Sunshine came through. I realized that my complaining on the phone when I thought that he was sleeping while we were watching TV works better then me telling him what I really want. That's a good one!
I don't usually get gifts as Mr Sunshine always says that it is my Birthday every day of the year. Little Miss Sunshine always makes me a home made card and many hand drawn pictures. Miss Teen Sunshine may actually break down and give me a hug. This year Mr Sunshine wanted to go out for a nice dinner but I asked him to cook me a really nice lunch/dinner instead. He can make really good meals if he puts his mind to it and takes the time to do it. He was out grocery shopping yesterday and I know what some of the meal will be as I have requested a few favourites as for the rest it will be a surprise. I remember when we were dating and he was house sitting for a friend. He called me from an Italian pasta store and put the lady on the phone with me so that I could pronounce what he was looking for. He made me a beautiful meal with antipasto, soup, Fettuccine Alfredo, veal scallopini with mushrooms, salad and a heart shaped ice cream cake. Then we watched one of his favourite movies, "The Mannequin," and guess what, during the movie, he fell asleep. Some things never change, have we ever had a evening where Mr. Sunshine hasn't fallen asleep? I put that special line in there just for you girls, yes, he has always fallen asleep in person and on the phone! And I thought his favourite movie was The Princess Bride? He has three all time favourites. That is the best movie ever! Why did you watch one of his favourite movies? I never really thought about it but I enjoyed the movie and to this day I remember every detail of that evening.. I started to clean up the mound of dishes but he got up and would not let me touch a thing. We started the evening with some of my favourite music, The Eagles, Blue Rodeo and Michael Bolton. It was really sweet of him and I really appreciated the effort. The meal was delicious! And though this is Bench Talk and we post it on Monday between you and me benchers we are talking on Sunday and today is Sunshine's birthday. Happy 4*&#@!^ Birthday Sunshine. I am sure you will have a wonderful day better than my house as my big plans for the day is to clean the fridge! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SUNSHINE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! Thanks girls.
Have a wonderful week everyone. Talk to you on Thursday.

Bench Talk: Books we are Reading

We are still waiting for our book club bag to come in at the library. It's good that we have to wait as we are all trying to finish up books we are reading beforehand.


(Cathy) I am in the middle of reading a great book that was recommended to me by a 23 year old university student. It's called, "Grown Up Digital," by Don Tapscott.http://www.grownupdigital.com/archive/. We were having a discussion at work and I had mentioned how Hubby and I have to limit the 'screen time' the boys have and how I long for the days when we were kids. Cathy, you sound old! The only reason that I long for those days was because times were so much simpler and we were sheltered from the troubles of the world and our responsibilities were very simple . I know the world is a different place and I do embrace technology, (after all, am I not writing in a blog?), however, I guess we still think old school in the ways the kids should do homework and play and socialize. (Carolin)I do monitor the little ones computer/TV time, and limit what she can do on the computer. She is very upset because I won't let her have a Facebook account. Her cousin who is three month's younger then her has one and she doesn't think it is fair. She was also complaining today in the car that it isn't fair that everyone in our family has a cell phone but her. I told her let it go and we would discuss it again when she is starting high school.
(Sunshine) Little Miss Sunshine is always collecting old expired cell phones and pretending that they are her very own functioning phone. She really does not even ask to go on the computer unless it is for a project but Miss Teen Sunshine, well that's a totally different story.

Back to the book I mentioned above. "Grown Up Digital," explains that the kids growing up today are the first generation to be fully digital. That we as parents, who are only partial digital, should not look at this as a bad thing. Our kids today have so many different skills then what we had. We, as adults need to adapt to our children's different way of learning and doing. We need to not freak out as much as they multi-task, ie: social networking while listening to music while doing homework. This is the new norm and we just have to accept it and adapt as our kids know nothing different. Funny you say that Cathy there has been the same song booming at the kitchen table for about 2 hours now. Yes, Miss Teen Sunshine is doing her homework and it is loud enough that I can hear from upstairs while I am typing even though the door is closed.

I am loving the different point of view the author, Don Tapscott, provides. It should make you yell at your kids less for all the time they spend in front of a screen. We'll see. I haven't limited the teenagers computer time in years. Partially cause I don't see that it is much different then sitting in front of the TV or chatting on the phone. Mind you I still every once and while will go through her computer and stalk the history, recycling, etc.

I have just finished reading Melissa Gilbert's autobiography, it was alright. I also read Anne Murray's autobiography which, maybe because she is Canadian, I enjoyed more. I have a few books from the library right now to read but I also picked up "Brothers and Sisters," season three and am watching that. Which I must say I do enjoy. This coming week when I head over to the library again I have Sue Grafton's latest mystery waiting for me. I have read all of her Alphabet mysteries and have enjoyed them all. I look forward to catching up on what has been happening to Kinsey Millhone http://www.suegrafton.com/interview.htm.

Carolin, with your busy schedule I am amazed that you get so much reading done, you too Cathy. I must be doing something wrong because I never seem to have time to sit down and read a book. Oh well, that will all be changing soon, I will have to make time to read our book club book.

Happy Reading!