I have never planned a funeral before but I have planned a few weddings in my time. When you get right down to it, they’re not all that different planning wise. You need:
Alcohol
Venue
Guest of honor (not always necessary!)
Flowers
Food
Guests
Pictures
New Clothes
Alcohol (did I say that already!)
The only difference I can see between the two is the speed in which we execute the plan. Weddings take on average 18 months to organize while I can plan a funeral in 36 hours! I am a list maker by nature so as usual I have my spiral notepad chock full of “To Do’s”.
On our list today is to head to the funeral home and make some final decisions and of course find out if anyone has found Len.
At the funeral home we meet with Brad our personal funeral coordinator. He takes us to the main reception area and he appears to be a little nervous. Guess he’s unsure how we are going to handle the whole “Len is lost” thing. We all assure Brad we don’t blame him for losing our brother, these things happen, or do they? We all sit down and get down to business, we confirm the day of the funeral and discuss how the reception will be organized. Brad asks us how many people do we expect to come. We all look at each other trying to do a quick count and come up with a number of 60 or 70 people.
After a little bit more of this and that, Brad brings up the subject of a casket. In the event that Len is found and brought home we need to have a casket. First we make plans with the assumption that Len won’t be here on time. My mother goes on and on about “buying fabric and sewing something and adding candles and Lens picture with lots of flowers”. Us three siblings look at each other and smile and just let her ramble. Realistically who is going to buy this fabric and sew, and get candles, and have pictures framed, she is in no shape to do anything. Brad mentions to us that we still need to pick out a casket as in most cases when the body is shipped home it is in a cardboard casket. Me, ever the practical one says “we use the cardboard casket and put Mom’s fabric over it”. “NO” says Brad “that is not an option as at this point we have to assume the body and box have been sitting out on a tarmac in the Guatemala heat for who knows how many days”. Everyone is quiet as this not so pretty picture takes form. Brad leaves us at this point to get the casket catalogue, I take this opportunity to mention to everyone that “I don’t think seeing Len is an option now”. My Mom just nods her head, she is trying very hard to keep it all together.
I look around at this family of mine and can see we are all on the edge of uncontrollable emotion. I look at my siblings and think I don’t really know these people. Miles do not only separate us but our day-to-day worlds are so vastly different. For my sister and I there is some history, she and I grew up together, we have memories of Len growing up. But for my youngest brother and I, there is more then 18 years between us, we don’t share childhood memories, we never even lived under the same roof. I think, for him growing up, I was more like is his Aunt then his Sister. And when I think about it how well did we really know Len?
Your so funny and it is a pleasure reading your account. Just one thing I would change. Wright more, I am so in to what you just wrote I wanted it to continue. When I read your stories it brings me closer to Len.So keep writting. Remember how embaraced Brad was when we got him laughing. He thought he was so unprofessional.But you made him relax.
ReplyDeleteI will try to write more, but I find it hard to get time alone to let the creative juices flow (as they say) also I was discussing this with Sunshine that the stuff that happened during that time was very funny but what we found funny, others might find disrecpectful. So because of that it takes me a lot longer to write.
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