Carolin - Good Morning All, we are all here, but it is still a little tense, I had to drag Sunshine here and Cathy came a little early to Louise's. As Louise and Sunshine are still upset with each other. I just want to get to the route of things and really accomplish something here today. I want to be able to grow as people and help our futures.
At this moment the subject is being avoided so they are talking about the airplane that went down in the ocean this past week.
But I can't take it much longer so some how I will have to type and get this silliness resolved. The thing here is Louise's daughter is home from school so it makes it a little awkward.
Right at this moment there is a long silence. So I am eating one of my muffins. So since they are talking of everything but.....
Louise has a job interview tomorrow morning at a bank. Sunshine is talking (yipee) Louise is saying "she is not mad but Sunshine doesn't believe it". For all our fellow benchers you will remember last week Sunshine mentioned something about Louise's husband's birthday. Louise was very upset about this and since then they have not spoken. Sunshine is telling Louise's how she is hurt and hates being shut out. Louise is crying and is trying to say that she needs to have time to call and have a proper conversation. Cathy is trying to talk to Louise about talking and not keeping emotions bottled up. There is a long silence right now..... And I am not good with silence so let talk about me.
I spoke to the principle yesterday after school. He glanced at my proposal (glanced????) He says he will bring it up this coming Tuesday board meeting. I wanted to bring some fruit and cookie platters to this meeting. What do you all think? I sent a email to one of the staff at the school who I know has set up for board meetings in the past asking her how many people will be at the meeting and I will bring some platters so she doesn't have to do it. She respond to my email by saying she was not comfortable and sent the email to the principal. Now I am fretting about that, I have read the two emails over and over and I don't think I did anything wrong. I sent it to her and not the principle cause she does the set up and I didn't think I needed to bother him with numbers and food. I give up!
Louise is still crying and Sunshine has somehow gotten a muscle cramp. Must be the tension in the air. Cathy is trying to get Louise to open up. They are talking finances and it is scary and overwhelming and I can totally understand why it is so much easier to bury our head in the sand. Some Thursdays are allot more difficult then other Thursdays. I feel somewhat selfish cause I come to the park to get away from my realities and instead I am living someone else reality. We really never found out what Carolin was running away from
I know it sounds selfish. Cathy is still rambling about money and trying to fix everything. AHHHHH if it was that easy.
Cathy is pushing Louise to talk. I am so uncomfortable, but it is probably a good thing to force Louise to talk. Problem I think is Louise has lived so long with not sharing her feelings that she can't seem to get them out.
We are talking about trust. Such a small word but so much responsibility. Here is a question, Can you totally trust another person? What is interesting is that we understand the word 'trust' differently. Sunshine and Cathy see the word as there is no ill intention. Louise and I see the word trust as meaning honest and reliable. I think this conversation could go around in circles. But now its time to let someone else takeover.
Well its me (sunshine), its been a tough week but sometimes things are just like that. I feel bad that this comes at a time when things in Louise's life are already so tense but maybe it will be for the better for resolving things for the future. Talking, talking , talking it works for some but it is resisted for so many because looking inside yourself is really hard and scary. We have to resolve our own internal issues before we move forward. Cathy and her beautiful poem, we love her and it was great but most of us don't understand it.
well we are wrapping it up now and we are all exhausted right now and hopefully we made some progress.
It's me Louise, and all I can say is...........I'm so tired it hurts!!!! I feel horrible, and I wish I could just sleep it away!!! I wish I could be a better friend to these beautiful women, and I wish I could open up like they want me to. I'm just not sure what's going on anymore, I don't know who I am and I hope that I don't feel like this for much longer!!!! This Thursday is coming to an end, and hopefully next week will be a better week for all of us.
(Cathy) Ok, so I talked alot today. The thing is, when one of us hurts, we all feel the pain. We all understand that things take time to heal and to resolve themselves. It's talking and interaction that help issues move forward. Time.
I don't have that much to say, except, I understand the poem :). What does that mean???