Sunday, March 28, 2010

Bench Talk: Friendships and Why Friendships Are So Important

The title speaks for itself. Is it possible to live without a good close friendship and would you want to?

(Sunshine) Having friends is very important to me. Friends come in different ways. There is the friendship that you have with your spouse, and that with your children. You can have a close friendship with your siblings and with other family members. Finally, there are friendships that form from getting to know a complete stranger who one day becomes a good close friend. I cherish each and every one of my friendships. They are an important part of my life. What makes someone a good close friend? For me, it is a sharing in each others lives. To share there must be a comfort level and trust and respect for each other. How is it that this can happen with some people that you meet and not with others? Well, I think that some of that comes down to personalities and similarities in values and how you live your lives. Ultimately you have to like the person that you are friends with and sometimes you need to work at maintaining a friendship. With everyone being so busy, making time for it all can be a struggle. In the end the effort is worth it. I think that a good friendship usually also comes very naturally. There is not much thought put into it and suddenly things just happen and you wake up one day and find that you have a new friend in your life. You can be yourself with your friend and they will still love you. They can share in your pain and celebrate in your successes. You care for each other and feel what the other is going through. Your lives are intertwined and you are richer for having that person in your life. You can rely on them and although the answers to your questions may not always be yes, you respect that and remember how they are always there for you.

The hard part comes when an existing friendship starts to change. Then what? It can be hard and confusing. You can have two really good people with two sides for why things fell apart and sometimes it's not even about why. Blaming helps no one. It works better just to understand that things in life change and so do people and we all have to respect what others want in their lives, even if in the end that means the existing friendship has changed its form.

In conclusion, I guess that it is possible to live without a good and close friendship because anything in life is possible but I am grateful that I am blessed with great friendships in my life that come from both family and friends.

To my good friends who I share this blog with, I love you all very much and I hope that we will grow old together. (Carolin) Guess what, we may grow old together, but we will do it without my grey hair showing! Yes, I spent three hours at the hairdressers yesterday and had my hair cut, coloured, foiled, and styled. Yes, I am now $183.00 lighter but I don't have any more grey! I can't wait to see your new look. I go tomorrow to get rid of the grey and da kink! ($125.00)

With everything in your life, things change and so do friends. I have found that you have girlfriends for different times of your life. But as your needs and theirs grow and life happens friendships evolve. It is important for women to have friends other than their partner. They need the outlet. Because we, as women, like to think, over analyse, and discuss our feeling, issues, thoughts; we need more than a spouse to let us do that. I have had and have some wonderful friends and am thankful for them. Now, this blog is getting a little too mushy for me so I have to go and nag my kids to get ready for school :(

(Cathy) Carolin is right. Women do need girlfriends. Close girlfriends! As much as we can share with a partner, there are subjects that women like to talk and discuss and trash and pick apart until there is nothing left of the topic! Husbands don't have the patience for this. (ok maybe some do) Trust is another valued aspect of close girlfriends. It's the ability to be there, present either in person or spirit and not judge! It's to know when to offer advice and to know when to shut up! It's also the ability to know when your girlfriend needs space and even when they are hurting and you want so badly to help..... it's knowing when to stand back and wait.

I thank God every day for these ladies with whom I share my life. I trust these ladies with my life and I know that if my life were to end prematurely that these ladies would be present with my family to take care of what my life has left behind. (talk about mushy, eh, Carolin!)

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