Take it Off, Baby!

I wrote this blog a good while ago. But thought I would repost it as my stripping days are now officially over!

Origianlly posted June 11/09

Well I can’t find a job and I am looking for something to keep myself busy. So after some thought I have decided to start stripping. I have done it before but it was a few years ago. The problem I had before was the area I had to work in was small and it was hard to get your groove on and move around. I thought this time I would try it out in the bedroom. I first gave it a practice try to see how easy it was to get the layers off. I scanned the bedroom looking for right spot to start. I turned on the alarm clock-radio to something smooth and jazzy. I wanted something that would loosen me up and make the stripping seem like fun and not just another job. I wasn't sure how it all would come off. I started in a corner where nobody would see me. Just as I started to take the first layer off my husband came in the bedroom and asked me what I was doing? I told him "I decided to do some stripping". He looked around then said, “ah, see ya, I'm going golfing should be back by dinner", and walked down the stairs and out the door. I had hoped we could strip together, kind of thought it might be fun and heaven knows after 24 years of marriage the bedroom could use some livening up.

After about 20 minutes, I think I was getting good at taking it off, at least the outer layer. I was having a harder time with next layer, it was like it was glued on. I thought maybe some lubrication could help. So I got a bucket of water, I tried not to just pour it over myself, but by the time I got the final layer off I was soaked and cold (if you know what I mean). Just as I was about to give up on this stripping thing and put some warm clothes on ‘the teenager’ walked in.

She first asked what’s with the 'pole dancing' music and then turned to find me in the corner soaking wet. A look of horror on her face, her eyes bugging out she started to back out of the room. She sorta gagged out a, “Mother, what are you doing?” By this time I was past my embarrassment and started to get angry that she was so horrified to see me. I growled out something like, “what does it look like I am doing, I'm stripping?” She then said, "Mother, let me show you how it is done", and promptly went to the other side of the room and got down on her hands and knees. She slowly stood up while never losing time to the music and was able to get all of her layers off in one clean move. She then turned to me and said, “Mom, that’s how it's done” and proceeded to sashay out the room.

The women in me was quite impressed, how she could move like that and get it all off so easily? But then just as quick the mom in me thought, I am not so sure this is what her father and I had hoped for her when she finished high school. But, on the other hand she is obviously good at it and we did raise her to appreciate her talents and to do something she love, so who am I to judge.

After what seemed like forever I was exhausted and needed a break. I went in the bathroom to have a shower. I don’t know about you but after hours of stripping I felt sticky and dirty all over. After my nice hot shower and some clean clothes on I went back into the bedroom to have a look around. What a mess, the bucket of water was now cold, the announcer on the radio was reading the latest weather report and in the middle of the bedroom was this pile of a days worth of stripping. My question to all of you is what colour should I paint my new wallpaperless walls?

I now live in a house with NO wallpaper. This past Saturday I finally got around to the guest room and stripped all the walls for the last time. :))