Thursdays on the Bench

(Cathy)Hi all, I hope the week has been good for all of you. Have any of you been following our Book Club? I was wondering if the ladies had anything further to add about the book besides the discussion questions? I would love to sit down with all of you, enjoying a good cup of hot tea and take the book apart. I have many thoughts as to the meaning of the book. Is it that life itself is a lie???? All trusting means no trusting???? I know this is a book and yes it's an interesting dissection of a group of friends, girlfriends at that which as we all know hold a special place in our hearts. So, what is the book telling us up to now? That you really do not know your close girlfriends or is it that we as human beings choose not to get too close because it's too uncomfortable? As I continue to read the story I naturally make comparisons between the characters in the story and us four ladies. So often as I read I will think to myself, "this is just like us, or maybe this is just like us!" I am not talking about the external situations that the ladies find themselves in. I am referring to the general 'makeup' of each of the ladies. I think we all have an 'public' face and an 'internal' face. How often do we get to see each other's 'internal' face. I have been told by the ladies that I am a 'vault' which is funny because I always saw myself as being transparent. However, again as I read I find bits and pieces of myself reflected in the story; good bits and bad bits, and bits I'm none too proud of. I think all of you benchers understand that we ladies do love each other unconditionally. Here's a question, after all these years, do we 'really' know each other?

I can hear the ladies responses, (in my mind) to what I have just written and I must say I have a smile on my face now. Let's see if I am still smiling when they have responded.
(Sunshine) Well Cathy, a vault can mean many different things. I think that you are good at keeping other peoples things and you don't share when its not yours to share. You are very careful and respectful of what you will say about others. That is a very positive thing. With regards to your own information, I think that you share when you are ready to share and then look out, nothing is off limits and that is also very positive. It demonstrates that you have a comfort level with us and that you are comfortable with who you are. What else can someone ask of a friend. How about some food?

With regards to the book. I am enjoying it. There is so much life within these girls and their families and each one has a different set of circumstances that has made her the person that she is at that time. No one's life is perfect. The only sad part is that many of them feel that they have to keep their lives hidden from the others. It's so much harder to go through life by yourself. It is easier when you accept life and yourself with all of its faults and if someone doesn't like the way that you are then that's just too bad. I guess that most of their reservations come from the fear of rejection. If rejection does happen then was that person a good influence in your life to begin with? It is something that the girls in the story and also we as human beings must really think about. There are people in life whose opinions don't really matter to me and others whose opinions mean the world to me. In the end, I must be at peace with who I am to really be me. That keeps the inner conflicts to a minimum but they still occur now and then.

Do we really know each other? I think that we do but you can never know everything about a person other than yourself. With regards to knowing others, people are always changing and evolving so there is always something new to discover about others and ourselves for that matter.

(Carolin) Cathy wants us to really get into this book. I just read it. I find it a light bit of fluff. This book would be a good airplane or beach book. I think with this group of ladies (in the book) why they can keep their secrets so well is because they on the most part live in different cities. They don't see each other all the time. I feel it is harder to keep two separate lives if you see each other often.