Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Thursdays on the Bench

Hi everyone, it's me Louise. I think I'm using the right colour? It's been so long since I've actually had the time or desire to sit and write. Even as I type this I'm not sure I'm going to post it........I'm a single mom of three. I don't really have any time for myself so I'm actually sitting here first thing this morning because I can't sleep. I'm really, really tired. This is my first year as a single mom, and when I say single I really mean single. I really don't get much support from their father, both hands on and financially. So I'm struggling. Even though I'm very busy just with everyday things I still have a lot of time to think. Think, think, think! Sometimes that's not such a good thing. The thing I really miss is having someone to bounce things off of. You know when you're worried about something, or have an idea, you like to talk it through, hear it out loud. I think that's a big part of being in a relationship. I miss that. The really big problem in my life right now is deciding whether or not to keep struggling to keep my home. Bottom line as of right now, I can't afford it. I'm only working part time, and yes I'm trying to get more hours but I'm still starting out and this is my schedule for now. I'm trying to make one dollar into at least five......I think everyone can relate to that. The man I once called my husband is constantly reminding me of the fact that he can't go on like this, he needs money to live too. He thinks I should get another job....ha ha! I wake up everyday and still can't believe I'm here.....In one years time I have lost so so much......I'm just waiting for things to turn around! I know some things you can't sit and wait for, so I'm trying to decided whether I should make a drastic move or let things fall where they may.....It's time for me to go and start the day, I'm off to a funeral today. The women that past away was 90, and such a strong, smart women. She lived on her own to her dying day. This is the first funeral I'm going to on my own.........I was asked to say a few words. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

(Sunshine) Louise I am so happy that you joined us for our Thursday's on the bench today. I am so sorry for all of your troubles and my heart really aches for you and your children. You are a strong woman and your kids are lucky to have you as their mom. They will remember as they grow older the sacrifices that you have made for them. You are working five days a week, taking care of everything at home and raising three beautiful children all at the same time. Taking on all of these responsibilities on your own must be so very difficult. Keep following your heart and believe in yourself. Try not to make the demands that your ex places on you demands that you place on yourself. Although the pressure must be insurmountable you must take deep breaths and think things through and keep doing what is right for you and your children.

I am also so sorry to hear about your aunt passing away. I wonder if it is who I am thinking of. I am sure that the funeral must have been very moving and very difficult. She is now an angel looking after you and your children.

(Carolin) Well, well, well look who had decided to join us on the bench. Hello there stranger. You have some big decisions to make Louise. I have had a very busy week again. I sent out last Friday once a week soup preorders. All week I have been getting the forms back and have close to three hundred dollars worth of soup orders! That's amazing. Starting next week I will have a student volunteer with me two days a week during the lunch rush. Can you believe I went through 11 dozen bagels this week! (ours school doesn't even do one dozen a day) I wonder if the Tim Horton's down the street has noticed a drop in sales. Probably not they do that amount an hour I'm sure.

We have had some exciting news this week. The teenager has been applying for scholarships. And she got a call this week that she won a scholarship through Credit Canada. Congratulations, she is such a smart girl. She had written a essay on the topic of what is the stupidest way you have wasted your money. She wrote her essay on buying her first thong! That's so funny! She is going to a Gala/dinner next Wednesday night at the Royal York (in Toronto) and Mike Holmes (I think he is a TV person) Hello he is the Holmes on Holmes and Holmes Inspection host. I love him I want him to come and redo my whole house. He is a pretty big Canadian Celebrity. Mike Holmes is the home improvement guru. He will be presenting the winners with their scholarships. At this point all we know is the scholarship is somewhere from $1000.00 to $5000.00. The Husband will take her downtown but wont be attending the dinner as we have been told it will cost us $160.00 each to attend! I am so surprised that they are not offering you a pair of free tickets as her parents but either way it is a great honour. We figured if we could afford the Gala/dinner we wouldn't need the scholarships! I sent the email info to KD asking her to confirm it is all legit, she is a Guidance teacher and has been a great help to the teenager with scholarship info.

We are planing to take the little one to our Church's harvest party for Halloween and then go to Sunshine's for a party. What would you like us to bring Sunshine, maybe some sandwiches! I am told that all four of us will be there, that would be great to be together again. I look forward to seeing everyone. I have told everyone not to worry about bringing anything but as usual everyone is being very generous and no one is listening to me. Please feel free to bring whatever you like and if you don't bring anything then that's ok too. I have very good listening skills so if you say don't bring I wont' bring! :)

See you all on Saturday.

1 comment:

  1. Lousie, please know that I am always here if you want to talk. There is just nothing nice about being alone when you don't wish to be. Whether it be everyday life or the bigger moments. Having everything on your shoulders must be rough. If only we could just sit on the picnic table by the lake and forget it all some days. :) Your trials won't last forever though and I know you will find your way. God is always with you. :) I keep you and the kids in my prayers. You are doing a great job and I hope everything works out and you can decide what is best to do. And as for your ex....hmmm...well....maybe HE could get another job. No clue sometimes. Take care. Miss you and love you.