Thursday, October 15, 2009

Thursdays on the Bench

Hello all, so another week has passed. What's new? Well, I suck at setting goals. No, let me rephrase that. I'm great at setting goals, I just suck at attaining them. I have done absolutely nothing this week. Wait, I did sleep. I am sooooooo tired and for no reason what so ever. I think the less I exercise, the more tired I become! I need to take a course on motivation. I would think that long term health would be motivation enough. I know all the reasons. I cannot even say I do not have time as I do. The fact still remains that I am TIRED! Both my body and brain are tired. I do not want to set any more goals as I do not want the guilt hanging over my head. In fact I do not even want to think about it, so let's change the subject. (Sunshine) I hear you Cathy, I have some goals that have been the very same for about 14 years now. I could very well have reached them, but I didn't and believe me I definitely had time to do so if I really applied myself. My goals as usual have been reaching my goal weight and exercising. I wonder how much of a different person I would be today had I have reached my goals and maintained them. (Carolin) Goals Shmoals, I am not a good person for long term goals. As you know I am a list maker so I guess they can be called goals kinda of. I achieve them (getting things done) on a regular basis, I guess the area where I fail would be maintaining personal goals. Like New Years resolutions kinda of goals I know I won't stick to it and so I don't bother. I have always had a goal of losing weight and I am pleased to say since I have started running around like a chicken with it's head cut off (working) I have lost 15 pounds!

I think as we ladies are all working now, we should change the name of our weekly Thursday post to something else. Any ideas? Our lives are so different now, not in a bad way, well for one of us it is let's say unexpected.
I wouldn't mind posting on the weekend if possible. As it stands I am posting at 5:38 am. This is probably the only time that I will have a chance to post until tomorrow morning. I will be out all day and then I have to wrestle the computer away from Teen Sunshine. How about calling it our Weekend Coffee Break? I understand how hard it is to get to the computer but I do like the phrase, Thursdays at the Bench. Last night I was at Costco and I met up with Kim. She says hi to all and would love to get together with all of us (including the reclusive Louise!). Can we really try to get together perhaps next Friday night. The husband is on afternoons but we can meet at someone's house or if it is later (and the teenager is home from work) we could meet at Williams Pub for tea. Let me know if this works for others as I think it would be good to see each other face to face!!!!

It has been an emotional summer for us all. Each of us has dealt with the past summer in a different way. We all have our opinions. One thing I believe, with my whole being is that next summer we will look back and wonder how and why we reacted the way we all did and we will all be talking about it TOGETHER. All four of us! I hope that you are right Cathy. I really hope that we will all be in a better place. I also hope that our lives are not so busy and that we will really make an effort to spend more time together. Uh, read above.

The one fact that has held true for us is our love for each other. Remember, being friends means being there for each other for the good as well as the bad. We are four totally different personalities with different perspectives. We know and understand this about each other and we still manage to love each other. WOW! God knew what he was doing when he had us meet. Cathy you are so sweet. What do you mean by that? I do agree that life can be very challenging. It is so easy to be by someone's side when things are good and happy. When someone is hurting and in turmoil it is harder because you feel their pain too and you watch them suffer and sometimes it can take a long time before someone is better. I hope that we have learned as really good friends that we will always be there for each other and I hope that we will always be grateful for each other. I know that when I went through my many years of turmoil that you three girls were always a phone call and back then only a few feet away. I love you all so very much. If I haven't told you lately, I really value our friendship. Thanks so much for letting me be me and for listening even when I am broken. You have all helped me to heal and deal with my own personal struggles. Yea, whatever, are you two PMsing, this is getting a little touchy feely for me.

I do think it's great that we are all now working. Although, it is funny, as I used to be the only one who worked part time. Now Carolin, Sunshine and Louise are all working full time. I will be at home and think of something to tell one of them and remember when I go to the phone that they are at work and it's now me sitting home, (not exercising!). Cathy don't get down on yourself but I really do know how you feel. Thursday was extremely busy. Cathy and Caroline have both alluded to it, yes I do have a job. It is working in a high school cafeteria. The pay is typically low working as a food service line staff worker but the schedule is perfect for me. I work from 9:30am to 2:30pm. It allows me to get the girls off to school, work hard and then pick them up. I work from Monday to Friday and I follow the school schedule so Christmas Break, March Bread and Summer Break are all off. The only thing that I have to worry about is begging for PD days off.

Well, yesterday I went to work at my regular time. My manager was away for the last two days sick. I had heard about a function at the school on Thursday night but no one had asked me to work it. I had told Mr. Sunshine about it and asked if he would be home that evening or was he working late. He said that he would be home. We had forgotten about an appointment that Teen Sunshine had at 3:00 on Thursday until we got the reminder call on Wednesday when we all got home. Well this appointment was set from about 3 months ago so I really didn't want to cancel and I didn't want to pay the cancellation fee. I could pick her up for 2:45 and be at the appointment for 3:00. I had to attend with her so what about Little Miss Sunshine who finishes at 3:15? Not to mention I had made a commitment to Louise about giving her three kids a ride home that night as she was working a later shift. Well before I cancelled the appointment, I called Mr Sunshine to see if there was any way that he could take Teen Sunshine. It was my lucky day, Mr Sunshine said that he could that and then he would work from home.

So I was working along and my shift was ending in 15 minutes. The owners and reinforcements had arrived to help with the 8:00 function for 250 people. The manager came to me and asked me if I could stay. I told her that I could not stay because I had to pick up Little Miss Sunshine but I could come back. She asked me what time I could make it back for and I said 4:30. She cringed her nose and said OK. I worked until 3:00. Then I literally ran to my car and drove as fast as I could to the school. I collected little Miss Sunshine and Louise's three children. I drove Louise's kids home, unloaded the car seat and met Mr Sunshine at the appointment and dropped off Little Miss Sunshine. I then drove as fast as I could back to the school. I got there at 4:00. We all worked very hard without a moment for a break until 10 :00pm. By the time I got home I could barely move as my back and my shoulders were aching so badly. Mr Sunshine was waiting with a hot tea and some cough medicine for my hacking cough that just won't go away. The girls were so happy to see Mommy come home and it felt so weird to be away from my family. I have to thank my family for pulling through as I could not have done it without them, especially Mr Sunshine. I sure hope that we don't have many more of these functions because I am exhausted.

Life and routine has changed for us and I think it would be good to reflect that change and blog about how we and our families are adapting to our new roles. Just think, when now do we do dinner, laundry, clean, and here's the big one....exercise!!!!! (I still have time as I work part time, I'm just trying to use the other 3 ladies as an excuse.... is it working?) Please see above for Sunshine. I have not done much in the house this week other then a load of dishes each day and a load of laundry each night. I seem to only to do bits and pieces around the house now. The laundry usually gets done on Friday (if I am not running to the Wholesaler). The husband is doing a lot more now, he finished up the dishes last night and helped the little one with her homework while I went out and did some errands. We don't have a regular routine as of yet. And because he works shifts our routine is always changing.

Change can be positive, depending on our perspective. Let the four of us show everyone how we can make it positive... with a little help. There are big changes in my home this year as I have not worked out of the home for 14 years now. I am too tired to comment on if it is positive or not at the moment. Let's see when I get my first pay check. I haven't filled out any forms yet. I keep asking but everyone is too busy. Did I mention that there are two other ladies working in the cafeteria and they are both from my dad's home town and they know my family really well. They were both apparently at my mom's funeral. We all talked about my mom a lot this week. The school that I am working at is very close to where my mom's fatal car accident occurred. At first I didn't know if I could go there. It has been a long time since I have been on that road. I am tearing up as we speak but really it has been OK going there this week. Maybe it will help me to heal a little bit more. I am worried that it will become a little to much to handle going there every day but I hope not. We will just have to see. It's amazing how something that happened over almost 10 years ago can still affect me today. Just realize ladies that we as mothers have such great impact on our children. My mom was a bigger part of my life and of me then I ever realized when she was here with me. Today I miss her and think about her and long for her so very much. I appreciate how hard it is for you to drive to that location each day. I feel it is Gods way of healing you and getting you to overcome some fears. I think God wants us to come to terms with the fact that it is just a piece of land and we need to be careful not to make it more than it is. Our eyes need to be on him and to be careful not to turn our personal grief into a shrine of some sort. Good for you Sunshine to face your personal struggles head on. And though you and I have laughed about your coworkers being from your Dad's town in Italy. Over time you can look back at this time and hopefully you will see that it was a good thing, and to be working with women who know you better then you thought could be a good thing!

Well I could continue to ramble but at looking at the clock I need to head off to work.

Have a great weekend.

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